Premarital Counseling

I have never understood why couples spend as much as two years planning a wedding, but rarely spend more than a few seconds thinking about premarital counseling.  I recommend a minimum of three months of counseling prior to marriage. In assessing a couple’s relationship, I first utilize a set of inventories (ENRICH/PREPARE) for which I have been certified.  I begin by first addressing marital status to determine the appropriate inventory to administer:

  • Seriously Dating/Engaged; with or without children
  • Cohabiting

Once completed, four types of premarital couples are usually described by the inventories:

  • Vitalized Couples
  • Harmonious Couples
  • Traditional Couples
  • Conflicted Couples

The inventories are not used as predictors of a successful marriage, but rather are designed to help partners learn more about themselves and their relationship. The inventories may help identify growth and strength areas. Additionally, personality traits of each partner are assessed – Assertiveness, Self-Confidence, Avoidance and Partner Dominance – to see how these personality characteristics relate to the underpinnings of the couple dynamics. A major outcome goal in using these inventories is to increase each partner’s assertiveness.

I view it essential for premarital couples to take the appropriate inventory to assess the various components of their relationship.  I have other methods and ways to gather the data, but I find the use of these inventories saves valuable time and money.